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Forty per cent of British marriages will end in divorce, putting many children through the trauma of family breakdown. Dr Jennifer Lewis, a Boston pediatrician, and her colleague Dr William Sammons, the authors of Don't Divorce Your Children, believe that teachers can play a vital role in helping children cope with parental separation.

Both doctors are child development consultants to teachers in the American Montessori Society and are in great demand to speak at education conferences on how schools can support children through divorce.

"If six, seven and eight-year -olds can be nurtured - the age when many divorces take place - they have a much better chance when they are older," says Dr Lewis. "The problems won't disappear, but that nurturing may prevent more serious emotional turmoil later. For older children there are more problems and fewer solutions."

Can teachers help? Nobody is suggesting that they can be a substitute for parents, but, says Dr Lewis, "during the most stressful stages, a child's teacher is sometimes the only reliable adult: the only person the child can trust."

"Whatever their emotional reaction to what's happening, teachers need to remember that the only safe position is to be an advocate for the child. They must behave in a manner which makes both parents feel welcome. For example, if a child has stayed the night with the non-residential parent, school should serve as an ideal place to drop them off the next morning. Doorsteps are often the site of angry changeovers whereas schools can function as neutral territory."

Dr Lewis works with school nurses. "They often report that at the beginning of term some kids come in with more asthma, stomach pains, and headaches than usual," she says. "Sometimes all the child really wants is to talk about why Dad left, or what it's like at home. If a nurse or teacher can simply empathize and say something like 'That must be difficult for you' it may be all they need. They just want an adult to know. They're not looking for a therapist."

"Teachers or nurses can't take on a therapist's role, but they can be available for the child. One nurse told me she had taken note of this , and the next time a particular child came in to complain of a headache, she asked "Do you want to talk?" "No," the child replied, "I just wanted to tell you that I've got a headache. I wanted someone to know."

It is not only teachers and nurses who can help. "Dinner ladies, playground monitors, schoolbus drivers - all see children in different contexts and are a potential source of feedback. We should be looking much more to a team effort so that when a teacher is faced with a distressed child, he or she doesn't feel helpless, or that all the responsibility is on his or her shoulders."

Children may take on new behavior patterns. "Teachers will see changes in compliance, and the general organization of homework and desk. When a child is feeling chaotic inside because the family situation is chaotic, they can react by being less organized in their schoolwork."

Chaotic feelings manifest themselves in other ways - such as changes in reactions to figures in authority, in rule-breaking and in increase sensitivity to relationships with their peers. "One of the biggest issues for these children is that divorce can change their academic performance because they no longer have the ability to trust adults, - and that includes their teachers." says Dr Lewis. "They doubt that people are telling the truth. Why would they trust anybody when they feel so let down by their parents?"

Children's self-esteem may slump. "They have a real fear that perhaps they are the cause of the divorce." Sometimes they may become compliant. "Teachers should be mindful of the child who is suddenly achieving uncharacteristically high grades: that may signal stress."

Considering how important teachers are in the lives of children whose parents are divorcing, it is surprising how little support is available. There are no simple solutions. "But a teacher merely noticing that something is wrong and saying to a child 'you're having a really hard time today' lets that child know that they are not invisible."

"Teachers need to make sure that both parents - even those hostile to each other - stay involved in the child's school life," says Dr Lewis.

The logistics of divorce often make one person feel unimportant and unwanted. School can help by keeping that parent in touch. If there are two addresses, two report cards should be sent out. Newsletters must go to both parents. As for the Parents Evening, Dr Lewis suggests that both parents be sent invitations. "If necessary, separate times can be allocated. Hostile parents shouldn't have to be in a room together to stay in touch with their child's school life."

Holding two conferences, duplicating everything, is time consuming. But if the goal is to be able to make the child relaxed at school, extra effort must be made. A good poem, essay or piece of art work should be duplicated and sent to both parents. A simple message from a teacher - 'I thought you'd like to see this' - is all that is necessary."