Legal agreements between divorcing parents intended to bring resolution to existing conflicts often inadvertently create problems. With careful thought this can be avoided by preventing the following flaws:
(1) Overestimating the capacity of the client to fulfill the time requirements of the agreement, e.g. midweek dinner and return to residential parent; promptness at pick-up or return times.
(2) Overestimating the capacity of the couple to cooperate, e.g. to agree on school selection, religious education, etc.
(3) Overestimating the tolerance of the clients to accept what they have agreed to, e.g. permitting telephone calls to the children on an unscheduled basis; allowing visitation with the ex-spouses significant other present.
(4) Overestimating the tolerance of the non-residential parent to pay for decisions made by the residential parent, e.g. selection of orthodontist (most expensive, longest treatment plan), summer camp.
(5) Inclusion of language which, though well-intentioned to promote strong parent-child relationships, in practical terms leads to parent-parent conflict, e.g. "the parent shall always encourage the children to spend time with the other parent."
(6) Inadequate anticipation of changes in children's interests and requirements, e.g. every other weekend may be fine when a child is six but usually affords little time with the sixteen-year-old.
(7) Inadequate mechanisms for review and adjustment, e.g. the initial visitation schedule almost always merits revision by the end of the first year and should not require a court appearance.
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