Mental health professionals are consulted more than any other professional group about the emotional needs of the children in divorcing families. Often their case load reflects the most complex problems in the most dysfunctional families.
In the course of primary care pediatric practice we have seen the dark side of divorce and the sadness it causes but we have also seen the "brighter side" of divorce and been able to identify some of the qualities of parenting style and decision making that have served parents and children well. Listening to the children themselves is an experience we have learnt from and would recommend to all those who offer advice and counseling--even if their clinical practices are confined to helping adults. We have been impressed at the wisdom and insight of children as young as four or five. It is truly often a case of "Out of the mouths of babes...."
On this web site we have posted articles and thoughts of interest to all those who work to sustain the mental health of adults and children through the divorce process. For parents, one of the most sustaining elements is the continuing positive relationship with their children, and for children, the knowledge that despite the fragmentation of their family both their parents will continue to play active, albeit separate, parts in their lives. For resources on this site see the navigation bar on the left or scroll to the hyperlinked summary descriptions below. As children mature, their ability and desire to understand what really happened to make their parents divorce helps their recovery process. Some of the issues which families need to re-examine periodically as their children mature in their understanding of the nature of the divorce. Each year the parents of two million children decide to divorce. Not only are these children in need of support from health care professionals, so too are the millions who continue to struggle with the effects of the break-up of their family. Schools are often the first to question whether a child's behavior is a normal adaptation or a "red flag" These are some of the commonest behaviors that raise their concern. There is extensive research on the effects of divorce but applying the findings in the "real world" needs careful thought. This page sites many of the current literature sources. This article looks at the role therapists and mental health professionals can play when a divorcing family is not seeking a therapeutic relationship. Frequently in these families the adults are seeking practical help, support and advice while the children need an advocate for their needs. When families come looking for practical support and advice these are some of the topics that should be at the top of the list for discussion. An agreement that looks good on paper may be more difficult to honor than some parents anticipate. All children wonder if they had a role in causing their parents' divorce. Parents are wise to listen first rather than rushing to reassure their children. We will be updating this site with new material. If
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